The Pressure of Being a Seed
It must be difficult to be a seed. To live securely within a protective shell is so safe and comfortable. And yet, in order to flourish, the flower has to burst through that protective shell. That takes tremendous energy, courage, and faith. The cyclical process begins with a period of dormancy when nothing seems to be happening BUT a lot is going on.
Gathering energy for the next stage of being requires preparation and rest. Faith says the process is happening even when there is no obvious action to be seen. This cycle of life/death/rebirth is most beautifully said by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who wrote, among many things, the book The Woman Who Ran With the Wolves. She says:
The Life/Death/Life cycle moves like this: Think of a circle and at the top, is the Zenith (highest energy), then moving down the righthand side of the circle, imagine stops, like on the face of a clock, each one with a name.
Zenith (at noon)
Beginning of Entropy (losing a little energy)
Loss of Energy, drying and dying
Death into dark
Nadir (at 6’oclock)
Then imagine just to the left of Nadir…
Spark of life in Dark:Conception
More Rising Energy
Zenith (high noon)
We each repeat this cycle again and again. The awareness of something, some part of ourselves, is dying yields to creations. The dying is not literal. It is the process of both gathering energy and making physical and emotional space for what is next. From the ashes of death comes the birth of who we will all become. The form may initially be unclear yet the transformation will take shape.
The lack of clarity is often where fear is strongest. The ambivalence of not knowing the particulars of what is up ahead and heading there anyway. I have been at this juncture enough times to know that faith is holding my hand while whispering to fear, “It is okay, you are prepared, trust this process”.
I have accepted that fear is my constant companion as I turn the page and begin each new chapter. I hold its hand and treat it gently and invite it along on the journey.